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I asked Elyse Suter, who had recently graduated from college and was working as my assistant, to write an article for the Aha! Teaching her to do her laundry and buying a lamp for her dorm room may be important, but those tasks aren't nearly as essential as helping her prepare, mentally and emotionally, for the life changes and rites of passage ahead.
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Here are eight discussions you'll want to be sure you have with your teen before she heads for college. My Aha!
Parenting moment this week is about letting our kids take the lead. This is my son's first month at college The teen years are notoriously challenging for parents.
Much like the toddler years, kids sometimes seem intent on doing exactly the opposite of what we ask, for some of the same reasons: Their job now is to find their sea legs as a person, to shape an identity, to sort out what's important to them. Their integrity would be compromised by simply doing what we ask because we ask it. They need to believe it's the right thing for THEM. Parents are the most important influence on whether kids drink alcohol, and the earlier you start these conversations, the better.
Kids whose parents teach them the risks of using drugs and alcohol are half as likely to use them.
Don't wait until your kids are teens before you have these conversations. This is a topic you'll want to revisit over the years as your child reaches new levels of understanding -- and temptation. I often get questions from parents unconvinced of the effectiveness of my parenting techniques.
Dinner is the best predictor we have of how kids will do in adolescence. The more frequently kids eat dinner with their families, the better they do in school, and the less likely they are to become sexually active, suffer depression, get involved with drugs or alcohol, or consider suicide. These questions will get you started. Rather than badgering your child with them, use one as the jumping off point for a two-way conversation.
How To Discipline Your Child: Top 3 Positive Parenting Techniques - Positive Parenting Solutions
Life is full of difficult discussions we need to have with our kids, from explaining to our four year old why Grandma died, to hearing from our ten year old that he was bullied on the playground, to confronting our sixteen year old about missing her curfew. Eating disorders--as you probably know--are a serious risk factor for your child. Parents have a lot more power than they realize to prevent eating disorders.
What can you do to prevent your child from developing an eating disorder? Alcohol may be hidden in water bottles, soda cans, or other harmless looking containers and taken along on the way to the event. What to do: Talk to your child about the dangers of pre-gaming and your prohibition of it in your house. If you know your child is going to a school dance or to a private party, remind him that your non-negotiable rule is NO drinking before he goes. Plan to spend that time with your child i. If teens come over to your house to get ready together, make sure you are present and involved.
nforun.tk Many teens believe that alcohol and other drugs are their reward for hard work, a notion gleaned from a culture that presents recreational drug use as the ideal antidote for the stresses of high achievement and success. We see this most dramatically in the form of such rewards as a Spring Break trip to the Bahamas unchaperoned.
Such trips are notorious for heavy drinking and other drug use. Point out that attaining academic goals carries intrinsic rewards that build far more confidence and satisfaction than a night of drinking. I want you to relax and enjoy yourself in healthy and safe ways. Teens often admit that they use alcohol to diminish the awkwardness and insecurity that they feel in social situations. As time goes on, however, many adolescents come to rely heavily on substances in social situations, creating a false perception that socializing without the crutch of a psychoactive substance is impossible.